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Rank: Superior Division Capitano Handle: Chupa Jr. Legionnaire Since: 1 March 05 Location: Minot, North Dakota Notches on his Badass Belt: 235 Badassness Self Affirmation: Chupa Jr.'s Declaration Of Badassness I am a badass because I fuckin' say so. If your opinion differs ask your mother she'll vouch for me. Generalé's Remarks: Chupa Jr. has been with us from the beginning; he's the first official member after us three Generalés. He has the name of Chupa Jr. because he looks like he could be El Chupanibré's little brother. But he's not. See Chupa Jr.'s testimonial (#6) on the "Join Us" page. |
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Rank: Superior Division Capitano Handle: Hot FoXXXy Legionnaire Since: 1 June 05 Location: Pisa, Italy Notches on his Badass Belt: 200 Badassness Self Affirmation: "What
Knucks Mean To Me" Generalé's Remarks: Hot FoXXXy just got his first set of knucks in the mail! Yeah, he's a badass. |
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Rank: Superior Division Capitano Handle: Black Toe-Lester Legionnaire Since: 1 August 05 Location: Fort Walton Beach, Florida Notches on his Badass Belt: 111 Badassness Self Affirmation: I have the power, though not demonstrated in the photo, to absorb hits to the head from instruments of death. Pictured here is a rare glimpse at the persona that is the Margarita-suckin, bitch-beatin, grandma-sexin Lester. Put the hammer down!!!! Generalé's Remarks: Black Toe-Lester is a comrade of el Chupanibré's. Here is what Black Toe had to say about their times together: "Once
upon some times, the terrible el Chupanibré and I slayed many
beasts such as leviathans, emus and wildebeasts. We rode on the noble
platypi as we guzzled bitter nectar from the rancid teets of man-cows.
Upon our glistening chariots, we rode as scions of the galaxy. We both
had kick-ass ten speeds. Once, while riding, I got the poo on me. It
= cooler than your face." |
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Rank: Superior Division Capitano Handle: Crash von Fury Legionnaire Since: 3 August 05 Location: Avane, Italy Notches on her Badass Belt: 18 Badassness Self Affirmation: Who’s a bad ass? I am or I wouldn't be submitting this shit! So one night Chupa Jr., Lady Killer and myself were partying like rock stars in Florence when we came across this fountain and decided to reap havoc. We jumped in the fountain and started splishin' and splashin' all over the place. We ended up splashing one tourist in the face so hard he almost lost his eye. Another night in Florence while I was dancin' and mindin' my own bidness, this Army asshole (who looked like 'Stripe' from the movie Gremlins) decided to put his grubby meat hooks on my booty. How fucking rude! Anyway, lucky for him my friends noticed that I had just pulled out the fists of fury. Seven or eight people had to hold me back just so I wouldn’t break his face. If my friends hadn't been there, this dude’s guts would have been splattered all over the club. Then one night as I was driving in a parking lot in Tirrenia, all of a sudden this red and white striped pole jumps out in front of my car. I had no choice but to show it who was boss and hit it. I thought the sucker was plastic but turns out it was metal. It hooked on to my front bumper and nearly took it off. But I showed that mother sucker a thing or two and ran him flat into the ground. The pole put a good fight, but I won in the end. I still have battle wounds from that night (a red racing stripe down the middle right side of my car and a fucked up front bumper). So for those of you who didn’t know how bad ass I really am, now ya know. SUCKA!!!. Generalé's Remarks: Who said no girls allowed in Team Friendship? This chick's a badass... even if she can't drive. Oh and she has another picture on this very page! look closely at the entry above this one. Yep, that's her too. |
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Rank: Superior Division Capitano Handle: Greasy Pirate Legionnaire Since: 25 August 05 Location: Great Lakes area? Notches on his Badass Belt: 117 Badassness Self Affirmation: Look at me: a dirty, tough-as-nails badass sailor. I have scrapped with them all from Conneaut, to the Soo, all the way across Lake Superior to Duluth! Why not fight on land, because that’s where the ladies are! Give me some soap and my badass flyness comes out and ladies ovulate at the mere sight of me! If said lass has a land-lubber boy and I have had one too many to keep a proper fist up, I can still put the Nancy bugger down by smashing his fists with my steely eyed, sun tanned sailors face. If this doesn’t work, I have a boat load of guys and gals watching my back (aka my crewmates). A true badass can lead a posse of other badasses, and what better than a badass posse of drunken sea dogs! RRRRR We know knots you only see in your worst dreams. Generalé's Remarks: We have no idea where this guy came from or how he found out about Team Friendship; but no matter, we are lucky to have him to help spread the word of badassness across the seven seas! This guy seriously kicks ass. |
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Rank: Vice Division Capitano Handle: Pants the Internet Legionnaire Since: 1 June 05 Location: California Notches on his Badass Belt: 106 Badassness Self Affirmation: (none yet) Generalé's Remarks: Pants the Internet is a Oregon/California badass. He's been juggling school, full-time job and wedding plans for a very long time now. He's a badass because he somehow manages to keep his head above water. That fucker drives alot too. |
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Rank: Vice Division Capitano Handle: Lompton Streaker Legionnaire Since: 3 September 05 Location: Lompoc, California Notches on his Badass Belt: 51 Badassness Self Affirmation: I'm a guy of few words, so I'll borrow a quote that I feel sums up my style pretty well. "We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry it cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh yeah - the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.. Generalé's
Remarks: From Songtan to Lompton this guy has held a reserved
seat at the bar. |
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Rank: Vice Division Capitano Handle: Rico Borracho Legionnaire Since: 12 September 05 Location: Marina di Pisa, Italy Notches on his Badass Belt: 48 Badassness Self Affirmation: I have plenty of stories to let you how badass I really am but one in particular comes to mind. My boy and I met this girl on Halloween '00 and she told us her name was "One Eyed Willy." We asked why and she reached up and pulled out a glass eyeball from her right eye socket. Keep in mind she was very good looking just as long as she kept her breakable body parts to herself. Two months later she showed up to a party we had at our apartment. My friend and I were like, "Whoa, it's the one eyed bitch!", and we knew what we had to do! My boy started mackin' on her until it was in the bag and told her that she needed to come talk to me for a sec. I took her in the back room and said, "Look, my boy and I are going to put it on you back here, alright?" She said, "Go get him." So the next few hours were spent banging out the hot ass girl known as "ONE EYED WILLY." Plus I can
drink with the best of them! Generalé's
Remarks: This guy's got stories. This is one of the better
ones, but they're all good. Watch him closely if you're ever out with
him because he me decide to start a riot! |
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Rank: Vice Division Capitano Handle: Mr. Awesome Legionnaire Since: 3 September 05 Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico Notches on his Badass Belt: 36 Badassness Self Affirmation: Wow, there are so many badass stories to tell, but so little space provided. This is a badass photo of myself freaking out the flower lady at Marlboro Man in Songtan, South Korea. She always bothered me while I was trying to get drunk and relax, so I started scaring her to keep her away from me. So here is
a brief history of my life.... at the tender age of 9, I was already
exuding high levels of badassness, so the locals dubbed me "Mr.
Awesome". I never looked back after that moment, and made a commitment
to lead the life of a badass. Throughout my career I have traveled the
world teaching the younger generations what it means to be a total badass,
and seeking others like myself. Then I discovered Team Friendship where
I located other badasses just like me that I could relate to. I guess
what I am still most famous for is my badass phone call to General Forsythe
at Osan Air Base. Many a folk can vouch for how only an extreme badass
could pull off a stunt like that and still get an honorable discharge
with 9 grand in separation pay! Generalé's Remarks: This guy is crazy. Trust us. A real whacko. But a helluva guy. Going out on the town with Mr. Awesome is always a night to remember! |
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Rank: Vice Division Capitano Handle: OG Spam Legionnaire Since: 26 July 05 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada Notches on his Badass Belt: 6 Badassness Self Affirmation: I went to a car show. Car show had lousy models. Car show turned in the the SPAM show. I showed dem bitches how to model. Generalé's Remarks: OG Spam is an original gangsta that's currently living in Vegas. "SPAM" is an old descriptive word he and his friends made up for shitty car clubs. |
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Rank: Vice Division Capitano Handle: Fresh Money Legionnaire Since: 15 August 05 Location: Hawaii Notches on his Badass Belt: 0 Badassness Self Affirmation: I once became extremeley inebriated, got naked and tripped over Chupa Jr's toilet, knocking myself unconcious landing in his bathtub. I had the left side of my face broken by a full can of Coors Light for slapping another grown man. I've had my bottom lip sewn back on.. not once, but twice from swift sucker punches. When it comes to badassness.. I do therefore I am. Generalé's Remarks: Lip sewn on twice? Sucker punches? Unconcious in a bathtub? He's a walking, talking Dropkick Murphy's song! |
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Rank: Vice Division Capitano Handle: Cutter Vomitos Legionnaire Since: 20 August 05 Location: Pennsauken, New Jersey Notches on his Badass Belt: 0 Badassness Self Affirmation: The chainsaw story (my pic) is probably not one of the better ones that i have, so I'll start by tellin' this awsome story about this one unfortunate time that i had: I PISSED, SHIT AND PUKED all at the same time!!!!!!!! I was driving home in a crazy thunder storm when i was 17 years old, under age and just leaving the local bar, and i had to piss sooooo fuckin' bad that i couldn't hold it any longer and I started pissin' my pants. So the first place I could think to stop was the liquor store I worked at. So I jump out of the car and start pissin' like fuckin' crazy; next thing you know, I gotta Fart!! So I bust out my dork, and all the sudden without remembering that Ii didnt pull my pants down, I Spray MUDD ALL into my pants. I'm talkin' literally into my pants, like they were a diper or somethin'. To make a long story short, I puked while wiping my disgusting diahhhhhreahhhh ass in the middle of a fuckin' storm in front of (not behind) a dumpster. And I got fired because they caught it on tape that night!!!!!!!!!!!! Now if that isn't BadAsssss, I dont know what fuckin' is. Peace and Chicken Grease Generalé's Remarks: There's nothin' as good as a good "This one time when I shit myself..." story. Everyone knows they've done it, most are just not badass enough to admit it. Thanks, Cutter, for sharing! |
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Rank: Vice Division Capitano Handle: DarkOne Nailz Legionnaire Since: 23 October 05 Location: Fairbanks, Alaska Notches on his Badass Belt: 0 Badassness Self Affirmation: Oh yeah, that is a genuine 9 inch red mohawk. And I am makin' out with a REAL chick (now my wife). Punks don't use hair gel; that is straight up red krylon spray paint. That bad boy was stiff as a board for days, just like me. I got tuff skills too, every gang wants me, especially for a rumble. I can lay the smack down with the best of them, and I am one mean skanker, just check my vid. Badassness, look no further, the DarkOne Nailz is here Generalé's Remarks: Yeah, you definately have to check out his video "Skankin'" in the 'random crap' section of the TF Videos page. This guy's got alot of badass stories to tell. Ask him what he does if someone screws up his order at Taco Bell. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be an Taco Bell employee that day! |
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Rank: Inferior Division Capitano Handle: Faux-Hawk Legionnaire Since: 1 June 05 Location: Pisa, Italy Notches on his Badass Belt: 103 Badassness Self Affirmation: Take one look at this picture and tell me I'm not a badass. $100, free drinks, two chicks to rub oil on me and PINK hair.. The definition of badass.. Look it up. Generalé's Remarks: Faux-Hawk is a cool guy. He speaks the italiano and has balls big enough to do shit like in his photo. |
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Rank: Inferior Division Capitano Handle: Sneeze A. Nut Legionnaire Since: 25 August 05 Location: Germany Notches on her Badass Belt: 96 Badassness Self Affirmation: I wouldn't
say that I am necessarily badass in the conventional usage of the term
"badass"; meaning, I don't go around pissing on inanimate
objects, puking on unsuspecting drunken passed out "friends,"
rippin' up shit and causing utter chaos. I am a lover, not a fighter--although
I have been known to head-butt the ocassional drunk and unruly jerk
:-) I have taken it
in the ass using the only lube I could find: cherry-flavored chapstick.
Now if that's not badass, then I don't know what is! Generalé's Remarks: Didn't we just see her on suicidegirls.com? Well anyway, if any of you are wondering about that name we gave her, you're gonna have to ask Crash von Fury. She's got a story for you. |
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Rank: Inferior Division Capitano Handle: Mute Cricket Legionnaire Since: 3 August 05 Location: Idaho Notches on his Badass Belt: 6 Badassness Self Affirmation: (insert awkward silence and cricket noises here) Generalé's Remarks: And here's an old pal of Colonel Crookeye's. Yeah, we know, not much of a self affirmation but hey, we think the picture speaks for itself. |
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Rank: Inferior Division Capitano Handle: Iron Mustacho Legionnaire Since: 20 August 05 Location: Phoenix, Arizona Notches on his Badass Belt: 0 Badassness Self Affirmation: Basically, what type of fu-manchu ISN'T badass????? I'm also representin' my favorite band of all time, the very hip and modern Allman Brothers Band..... Generalé's Remarks: An old pal of el Chupanibré's. He claims to have the ability to play "Yankee Doodle" and "Dixie" on the guitar both at the same time. Pretty effin' sweet. |
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Rank: Inferior Division Capitano Handle: MonkeyIndustries Legionnaire Since: 6 November 05 Location: Fayetteville, North Carolina Notches on his Badass Belt: 3 Badassness Self Affirmation: Damn, with a cannon like that, how can I not be a badass? I mean, like duh! Generalé's Remarks: This is an old friend of Colonel Crookeye. You can check out his skillz in the skating sections on the TF Videos page. It's about time he put his application in! |
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